Eyes on Me

I don’t want to be seen

I don’t want to be perceived

I wish I could go anywhere and be invisible.

People are everywhere

Eyes are everywhere

They’re all living their own lives but why do I feel as though mine is being watched?

As though they’re looking for a mistake in me

Is my hair messy?

Is my outfit mismatched?

Do I walk weird?

Is there something wrong with me?

Being judged seems to be my reality but maybe I'm just paranoid.

I’m not all that important, but people still tend to look in my direction

I open a bag of chips- eyes on me

I drop something on the ground- eyes on me

I laugh strangely- eyes on me

I trip over my own feet

Eyes. On. Me.

Seems everywhere I go, I can never avoid the neverending stare of someone else.

Never have I seen it in a positive way.

I look down at my feet, waiting for the eyes to continue on their way

I feel mocked.

I feel stupid.

Most of all, i feel seen as something pitiful

Seen as one who doesn’t do anything right.

Why can’t I just feel normal?

Like I fit in.

Like I belong here.

It’s my only life too, yet I feel so out of place.

As if I’m a creature in another world

Wish I could just disappear

With the darkness engulfing me.

Till I’m….

“Hi!”

“I like your style!”

Looking up, I catch the eyes of a stranger

Looking at me with….kindness?

They smile.

They see me?

They like my outfit?

Maybe who I am isn’t who I always thought I was.

Maybe I’m not too bad

Maybe I’m smart

Maybe I’m interesting

Maybe I’m creative

Maybe I’m just enough

Yes. Yes I am

I’m enough.

“Thank you.”